Frustration

The psychiatrist's office called me back today.  They gave me the first available appointment which is at the end of March.  It is a wonder that the suicide rate in Anderson county isn't the highest in the state.  The response time for the mental health facilities around here is a bad joke.  I'm not in such a condition that I would harm myself, but I'm sure there are plenty of people who are, and they probably aren't getting help any faster than I am.  At this point I don't even really want to talk to the doctor.  I just want him to give me some kind of pill to make me feel better.  I have this almost constant feeling that there is something I'm supposed to be doing.  I don't know what it is, but it feels important.  I get stressed out and frustrated that I know I need to do whatever it is, but I can't remember what I should be doing.  Then this knot of tension starts in my stomach and neck that makes me want to throw up.  Sometimes I get angry and have to struggle not to lash out at people, and other times my hands shake and I start crying uncontrollably.  The only thing that makes me feel better is working out until I'm exhausted, and that is starting not to work.  At first I felt okay for a couple of days, but now it doesn't last long at all.  I worked out last night from nine to ten o'clock, and I started feeling bad again not much more than twelve hours later.  At least I'm going to get in shape.