As it turns out, it was a mistake to try to have a theme in my blog posts.  No one is reading it, so of course no one is adding to it.  That makes it particularly difficult to react to and write about what is posted on my blog.  Now I kind of feel like I'm just writing in a diary or something since I am the only person that is actually seeing this.  When I was a kid my parents made me keep a journal; they thought I was too emotionally bottled up or detached or something.  They were right.  I wrote in my journal every day and never once metioned how I felt.  I know this because I found the journal about ten years later and read it.  I guess thte joke's on me... now I'm just waiting on a call back from a psychiatrist so I can hopefully figure something out so I will be able to do all of those emotion based things that adults are supposed to be able to do.  I should be able to control my temper.  I should be able to keep from crying at random inappropriate moments for no reason.  I should be able to be at least moderately happy on occasion so I don't have to fake it to keep from upsetting my wife.  I think I've needed to see a shrink for a while now, but it always seemed ridiculous to need someone else to help me get a hold of my emotions.  Now I can't wait to hear back from the psychiatrists office so I can go and maybe get at least a little normality back to my life.